Thursday, April 27, 2006
When Earth Saw Heaven.
Have you seen,
How North longs to be with South?
How Yin and Yang complete,
Sacred union
Within and Without.
How the Sun and Moon will always stare
At Fire and Ice,
That untimely pair.
How Black and White will ever compete,
Yet bow in submisson upon the other's feet.
Have you seen,
How the wind dances in joy,
Around the head of the mountain
with such innocent coy?
How the mountain below,
In annoyance will grumble,
Yet when his gaze is averted,
Tis his heart that shall rumble.
Oh how the star twinkles
with the greatest of care,
and lays the powerful planet's
Deepest desires bare.
Have you seen,
The shadow and the light,
The ultimate attraction,
Oh what a sight!
How they dance,Moonlight as awning
And thus,terrific marriage,
when the new day is dawning.
How can you miss,
all the signs,
By Mother Nature and Father Time?
My sin is hardly minimal
Opposites attract,
It's practically subliminal.
-Me.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
I just wanna Live!
Nothing really,provides a source of inspiration than getting down to actually writing this thing...i was thinking(what's new?) and...i got pretty emotional about something...
I don't want to be caged up all my life.
I don't want to be stuck here,in drab grey routine.
I want to live.I want to fly.I want to see the world.
How the HDB apartments look like penitentiary walls,
all around me.Sealing me in...So...No!I will not have it.
I will travel.I will see what life really has to offer.
I will make my own judgement about it.
And,thus,i shall not follow what people have judged.
That was pretty much my train of thought.On a happier note, Election day's coming up.I will keep my mouth shut, and not say anything,due to the very strict laws on political blogging and podcasting.I...must....shut...up...Majulah Singapura!
I'm pretty tired now, hopefully,the depression's just a phase.I'll be back to my cheery old self soon.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Back to School
I went back to CCKSS to collect my O level cert today. Funny.I sorta miss the place i loathed for like, four years of my life.I saw familiar faces.Faces i once associated with authoritive fury and no-nonsenseness talked with me.Like i was an adult.It's almost like we're in the same boat now. Almost.It's more like we're in a liferaft aside a mighty ocean liner.Am i an adult?But then again, what is an adult?Someone who's above a certain age?Who's seen the world a lot longer and been through so much more than another?I'm not an adult then.I am merely in a semi-existant place.Like half boiled eggs.I can say i have seen the world.But..by whom? Through the eyes of the media,through someone else.I have seen Singapore. But not the world. Who can truly say they have seen the world?Partaken in a festival from every culture,Seen the many faces of "the other"(if that notion exists with you).Who is to say," i have seen the horrors of the world?" when,thus,new horrors are being created everyday? The world has never been cruel to us.We create our cruelty. Who then,is to say, i am an adult.I know i'm reading too deep into this.It is my nature to do so.The world stil has its mysteries.And puts the wisest man is in the same league with a child without teeth.
We are in the birth of existance.It is sad that experiences cannot be transferred from parent to child.But,hah,if that were possible,such a child would never be considered,sane.We would know too much about ourselves.Then what?Would it, then be considered Relevant information?Survival of the fittest?It must include superior knowledge as well.But, i do not believe in that.Survial of the fittest.I would not be here.But really,why are there those exceptions?If life were given to the "unfit",purpose would be lost.Principles run on purpose.Then, we ask ourselves,if it loses it's purpose,does it exist?
"I will always remember my school,for what it gave me,which i threw away by not attending half the time."-me.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Go Taurus House!!!
Leadership camp 2006-I have never been a happy camper.I mean,i hate the outdoors.We have comfort,we have technology,so why deprive ourselves?Say what you want, but there's nothing macho about getting bit by a dozen mosquitos and scratching like a tick infested animal.But,i have to admit, this camp was pretty...fun.Yes.I said it.It was okay.Allow me a rundown.
The beginning.The camp lasted from wednesday to friday.That's two nights without a bed.But, leadership camp?If the whole J-ones go, who the heck are we supposed to lead?Yeah,yeah,the future of singapore and bleh...but seriously,i had my doubts.
As usual, i overpacked.I thought i looked like i was hiding a body.I saw worse, trust me.My bag was nearly battering ram standard.So, okay,early morning, apprehensive about going still.Went to school in my bloody PE shorts.They,by the way,DEFINE the words shorts.They guy who invented shorts would be so proud.Such a compromise of modesty in those shorts.They were...Short.Really short.So, yeah.Stupid things.So we left for the camp.House Taurus and House Rasalas.So harry potterish.
Breaking in.At the camp,our activities were held up.By these kids who booked ot late.They called us the "blue people"(our t shirts).Adorable?I think they're just getting dumber.We got down to business,finally.We got briefed,about proper attire.It was then that a very major flaw of mine hit me like an angry woman.I had only ONE pair of school shorts.Yup.It was my precious,precious ichor.My shorts.Here's a revelation.I wore those for three straight days.Stop retching,guys.I don't stink bad.Unlike others.Moving on...Our handphones were also confiscated.Let's all give a hand for Nat's genius plan on getting past this,and still looking like a sweet goody goody angel in the teachers' eyes.The dual Handphone trick.It really was a morale dampener for me.Mom almost skinned me when i came back.And,i missed a certain someone so very badly.
During free time.There really was alot of time to think.I like thinking.It may not get you anywhere in a hurry, but i enjoy the process.It awakens emotions.Without external factors.That's how actors cry on will i guess.I thought about how time can pass so sluggishly.I thought about life thus far.I questioned the purpose of millitary disipline.I thought about Christine.Alot.Knowing for a fact that the camp next to us was called camp Christine made it worse.I really missed her.Everthing started reminding me of her.The peas in my fried rice(she likes peas),the clouds(one was shaped like a hamster.She gave me a stuffed hamster doll.Not a real stuffed hamster,thought that would be cool.) I missed her.The first lesson i learnt.I cannot bear to be away from her.Call me weak,or whatever you want(anand must be having a field day) but my heart used to give this depressive shudder when i thought about our distance and time apart.I love you Christi.
Acts!Activities! I have never gone kayaking.Ever.I got burnt.I look like charred dogpoop now.But Venu's a good guy to kayak with.He has so must experiance, that the kayak almost moves itself.Guys,if you are reading this,Remember Dan Fu and Darren's "turn around" They took a huge loop that took half an hour.And Dan Fu's arms almost fell out.A chopper flew pretty low down,but no one capsised.Darn.Other than that, i didn't really do the high elements.The games were fun though,i still think 3 seconds on the challenge pole can only be gotten by bribery of the ODAC leaders. And who can Forget Edmund's stylish finish on the spider web?2 whole points for Taurus!
Field cooking-NO COMMENT.JUST DON'T ASK.Dan fu choked on a noodle.
Sleeping.The bunk sucked.Darren was forced to brokebag with venu.We did not have space(30 people was way too much).Sorry,danfu,for elbowing you in the space.And Hidhir,for sleeping with raised armpits.We heard malay music at night.Freaky?Nah,just the nearby boathouses.
Now we know why they give the feedback form directly AFTER the camp.We're too tired to complain.
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G SONG.Campfire night.We Rocked the cazba, 0641b!!The girls were sizzling!Except one(i'll keep you in suspense.I'll tell me if you ask me direct.Unless you're that girl.Duh.Pretty obvious.)Seriously,we were the best.We were born to entertain!Thanks Venu, for saving us guys from our inability to dance(with one exception).You're a great leader,don't get a big head, but everyone else thinks so.Which reminds me,now would be a good time to point out some people i got close to over the days.Friendships formed, strenghtened.As such,also my dislike.(i'm not saying,call me shallow,hypocrate)In no random order,it starts.Thanks for being so unified 41B! You make coming to school fun.It's short,i can write thesises on you guys,but i have a space limit.
Donovon-Snowball,you left your conditioner in our toilet,got everyone scolded and forgot your fancydrill,but the class would never be the same without your jokes and bright red shoes.You're like a little brother to us all.
Dan fu-BASKET!60-gig memory,our walking timetable.Very witty and always smiling.A pillar in our group.Pei Chai Chee is real lucky,the girls will agree.
Joy-Thanks for always being there to talk to during PE.Me and Venu might always kid you about your candylicious problem,but we're always here to help,okay?Continue to jump for joy,joy.And get stuck.
Darren-WATCH OUT, PE TEACHER BEHIND YOU!With a paranoia of PE teachers Darren's really funny.Tkd blackbelt first dan somemore.Always make me laugh till my stomach hurts.Where would we be without your many hand signals?
Natria-Get Busy!!!I'll teach you the chorus to 'we'll be burining' if you want.
Yu'an-We had trouble spelling your name(while we cheered) while you were doing your High elements.We'll vote for you!We'll even rig the votes.
Jian le-Your friend girl la.
Zhong Hao-Our dear CG rep.Thanks.
Thurga- I'll come to you for relationship advice.Don't worry,you're still Thanabalan's fave.
Gurdeep-You're real nice,though you don't talk much.
Xinni-Any girl who plays WoW is cool.
Celest-You think you still eat fast now?Huh?I'll never forget your pink cup.
Edmund-Keep moving those feet.Real talent there.
Jolyon-We'll be working together for PW.You got the best place in the bunk.Thaks for your phone man.
Shahira-Is your leg okay?Be careful...
Hidhir-Hope you tell your mom where you're going nex time...
Cheryl-PW groupmember!Yay.Still a bit of a mystery....
Fiona-I'm not crazy!And keep singing your songs.
Wei jean-You're just too funny la...
deena-Thanks for being so enthusiastic.
Nanthini-Never come...you missed out alot...
That's all i guess.41B,41B OOOIII!
-Your Lit Rep,Me!(AND PAY UP FOR YOUR BOOKS!!!)
Monday, April 10, 2006
Someday
Routine is mind-numbing.Very soon, you don't mind how numb your muscles are.It's the same thing, day in, day out.And breaking out is near impossible.I begin to question myself.Of my decision. But,i will stop.I put my trust in people i believe in.If it is thus that my life would become clear now,it is so.A-level,Uni,Work. Sure, i might be making tons of money,but is that really what is want? To a certain extent, very much so. Someday, i'll take my degree and go write scripting for games.Yes.It's what i want to do, it shall be thus.Laugh, i don't care.Someday, i will break out of routine.Out of this dreariness we call,life.I will do what i want.I want to LIVE. Someday...I must wait.Sigh.So i shall.
Look at me, going through moodswings like a little girl.I'm just annoyed at how time passes.How life GOES ON,or so they say.I have to admit, i miss my secondary school life.It was boring, it was dumb, but it was mine.We were all together.It took us so long to realise that we were friends,me,seetoh,sean.Damn myself for not seeing it eariler.I was with rruss all along, well, that's one thing right.Life GOES ON.It sucks that is does.I know we'll be friends for years to come.But...well.
Life is...life is...Frustrating.
I will make it better.It's only a matter of time.
And then, i think...What is so bad about it?That i should throttle myself in the womb of semi existance?It's not all about rumination.It ain't about the bad, though, authors are making some moola from bringing it out and exxaggerating it.Like the noodle maker.I think i've never read more a negative book.Like,my god, it's so bloody weird.And so sad.But, life, is not about negative feelings.With ignorance comes bliss?That's why stupid people are so happy? Maybe.As for me, I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a stalemate of figuring put what life is, dwelling in the negative,and leave my mind rendered and bleeding from it's encounter with the world.Life should be enjoyed.Do not quote me on this.I mean,the simple joys.Family, friends, love.These really are what makes life worth living.Simple, pure,unadulterated...joy.So hard to find these days, with our madness and obsession of time.
