Thursday, June 23, 2005


Check This out!!!-------> arrow misplaced.pointing at siglet thing.

Hi everybody!(In voice of Doctor Nick Riviera from the simpsons) Expected reply:HI Blogger Paul! Go ahead.Say it.Come on...say it.I won't start till you do.Say it.Say it.Okay.Thank you.
First up, we seem to be having some sorta population explosion cause its alota people's birthday all of a sudden.So,Happy Birthday Reina,Russell and Taufiq. Well, you know what they say,Another year older,Another year closer to a dingy retirement home.Good luck ya old cronies! I was going to give you(audience) my hypothesis on how to successfully cheat death itself.But,meh, why talk of death on such a happy occasion.

Okay,Since this is MY blog,the article today will be,Famous people born on the same day as,well, me! They should count themselves lucky to share their birthdays with one who exceeds the greatness of all them petty little european royalty. Yes, i am talking about my oh so awe-inspiring self.Stop sniggering.Quit it or face the awesome wrath of Paul! I mean it.Stop.Stupid.
Well, would ya imagine that! Denzel Washington Shares my birthday! By the way, you ever wonder why all them americans have contradicting names? Like Washington sounds white.And Jack Black,well,he ain't african american. See? Its all a vicious cycle wherein white people try to be black(What up all you Schnizats!) and black people try to be white(as seen in double take). The world has to move to a point of understanding where colour don't matter no more.You dig? I ain't preaching somekind of save the whales! Fish are friends not food! crap.Seriously.It don't matter if you're black or white.

Also you checked out the siglet thiinngie at the side? It randomly gives you a random saying randomly. Go ahead,refesh the page.Do it.Now.I'm waiting.It's not hard.Refresh it.See?cool!

Okay,I'll go now.The simpsons are on now. hershal smoiichal krustovschy.Krusty's real name.

Todays saying-"how many dyslexics take lightbulbs too does it change?"

alone at 6:14 PM

Thursday, June 16, 2005


Fanteastic-C'mon,lifestyle uses stupid puns like these.

Ah...inspiration.A fresh,cool breath of wind through the gold panelled french millefleur set windows.Okay,fine, a sunlit,lukewarm whistle of air through the intricately carved ivory tinted windows on a cool june day?Okay,sheesh, you've got me.A blast of hot singaporean air,with the faint hint of chicken poop(courtesy of seng choon chicken farms)Floating through,uninvited,through a hole in the poorly developed HDB prison-like house's wall.There.Happy?Cynics.

Okay.I want you to imagine sipping a wholsome cup of tea.No milk,no sugar,just the pure goodness of water imbued with the fragrance of tea leaves.Stop spitting it out.i know it's tasteless and disgusting,but,please,not on my blog.Did you know that the tea bushes on the plantations in the cameron highland are over seventy years old.Yes,way older than some of your grandmas.So next time you open a pack of cameron highlands tea,just remember that those poor dried creatures in those teabags have seen this world,faced sun and rain, and stood against the wind longer than you have.So stop drinking your elders.Also, the best kinds of tea come from the youngest tea leaves.The ones ot the tippy tip.So why all the tea things?Well, got reminded of my trip to cameron highlands.Yes,Ha! i was there! were you?okay,fine, nothing to brag about,Well, except to those tree hugging,tea lovers,you know,the ones into zen thingys and free from poetry and conceptual art.You know....

Now,where do i begin?It is the june holidays,well,at least a week.Today,ii just lazed around.Predicted a 4D number.3118(if you do strike, you owe me 45% of the money,kapeesh?) So,yea.Seetoh daniel is MIA(missing in action).I think it's time to report to the "missing" show.Ah well,no one would recognise him anyways.Oh,yea,on more important issues,i went to PCK musical on a complimentary ticket by compliments of domingo.YEAH!I KNOW!Never in a miillion years after watching the advertisement,did i think i would actually see the blasted thing.YOU ARE CONNED,YOU ARE CONNED,YOU WERE REALLY,REALLY CONNED!CAUSE I'M A CON-TRACTOR..Well,talk about lasting impression.3 million dollar production?What did they spen it on?No,seriously,other than the propaganda,where did the cash go?Cleaning those yellow boots?Teaching Irene Ang to sing?Hiring Sheikh Haikal?But,it was okay, i guess,Candi Choo(May i help chooo)made an appearance,in voice.Haikal,the feng shui man,submitted to the fact that his "Powers" were inferior compared to the bishop Dr(?) John Chew(yes he was there.It was a complimentary from the arch diocese of singapore.So,yeah, hope that there's more stuff to do during the holidys,what's left,anyway.Okay,Simpsons now, gotta go.

And today's saying-"Did you know that your name Nigel,in swedish is Neegel,which means snail."-Linda,Evey ones favourite walking,talking quirk.Whoohoo!!!You rock Linda!!!

alone at 6:14 PM

Monday, June 06, 2005


That was COO COO.

Okay,no time to explain,but i'll skip the article.A hell of a lot of stuff happened over the past few days.So,let's get it started!

Okay,first up, some dumbwad nutjob sent what i think was suposed to be a threatening,mocking notice about my dog.Yes,poor Dre,he didn't do anything wrong!Well, but this was well, a mockery of a mocking letter.For one, the english was horrenduouus(spelling mistake a pun).The person made practically no sense,he/she even tried to be sarcastic.To the best of his very pathetic,menial,sad ability."Is dog mad or u owner mad."Yes that was a quote.And he even asked us to prepare to send Dre away.To that i say...SCREW YOU!Who died and made him the head of agri food and vetinary?Man,if only i could get my hands on that dumbassclown who is so discourteous with his language....For the name of English!People who can't use it,should just crawl in a hole and die.


Okay,Next, i can proudly say i survived 12 periods of physics.Yes people,a hero walks among you.12 periods,six hours of learning about induced magnetism and electrical transformers...I can make one of them T-shirts"i survived 6 hrs of physics."Also, please remind me to custom make a t-shirt that says "i'm with stupid" and an arrow pointting up.Heh.Or one that says weapon of ass destruction...

Okay, the final important event affecting mankind is that a ringtone hit the british top charts.Yes a ringtone.Crazy frog.Tht's the name.Okay, that wasn't the event.On saturday 4th june 2005,Class 4/5 of choa chu kang secondary school had a barbeque.A poolside barbeque.At first all was fine,we cooked hotdogs and lay around in wooden chairs lazily sipping pineapple juiced served in coconuts by ladies wearing grass skirts...Okay no,we were self serving ourselves with ribeina in plastic cups while we sat on hard plastic chairs that made our butts hurt.Are you happy now?So all was fine, the chicken was grilling a bit too slowly on the grill, people were laughing,the radio was playing akon's lonely and i was looking carelessly at the darkening sky as the remnant clouds floated purposefully across the azure eve.Tranquil.The world was right.After the class tried to push Wei Xing into the pool after the class photo(they stopped cause they were afraid that he had electronics on him.)Oh yea,the class photo,Peggy was the phtographer,so she clicked the camera and a red light began to blink,getting faster.Yes,this was the timer.Before i could shout out,she had already turned the camera towards her face.The last thing i remember was FLASH!AHHH!and laughs.Later,when things had more or less quietened down, Wan jun and Pei shi was knee deep in the water,splashing around quietly and Celest was squatting silently by the poolside.I did think of pushing her in but,well,thought the better of it.I left my perch from russell's contemplation and went next to Celest,still half habouring thoughts about pushing her in.We talked a bit, and suddenly,she got some crazy idea that she could manage to throw me in.So i plonked down at the edge and refused to move."One must be as immovable as a mountain."So there she was tugging at my DMX T-shirt,when firdaus,or sean,no,firdaus, comes and shoves her in.The first had fallen.So there i was, still sitting there, laughing my head off,still as immovable as a rock.Celest was there too,whining,in the water that is.So,all i could say was that i let my guard down.Sean comes from behind and pushes me!I slid it,after being pushed,cause the poolside was (DUH) wet. So there i was, the second one in.Fasihah takes a picture of me and celest. I was disoriented,and someone overthere starts annoyingly flicking water at me.My eyes still hadn't adjusted to the chlorine yet, so i was blind, to say the least.So i just grabbed the nearest arm and wrentched that person in.Wrong?sure it was, But i was in bloodlust.That,by the divine fate of what ever cosmos,happened to be jennifer.Yes.Jennifer=danger.So i went under again, cause i had to when i pulled her in.And when i broke the water surface,something hit me.Well, let's just say that jennifer began thrashing me in a very uncivil and barbaric manner(that slap still hurts!Well,at least the class got something of a drama series,those who saw it that was.).C'mon, how was i to know she was wearing a skirt?So a few abuses and complains of a new blouse later,she relatively calmed down.Sheesh...remind me NEVER to do that again.But she did help me find my shoes.(Which i think domingo hid.)Sorry jennifer!

So,soon, everyone was either throwing people in the pool,of getting thrown in.Yes,bible boy domingo went in too,after much ravings about the moslems instigating it.He tried to psyche everyone out of throwing him in,but joined in when other people got thrown in.That's why he deserved it.I told him that i'd give him a chance to escape,but seriously i was just tired from running.So at long last he got thrown in,he fell in a couple of times on purpose too,then left early,still raving like a lunatic.Sour lemon.

The only one present who didn't get thrown in were Taufiq and Firdaus(Their names have to be coupled.They were hanging out in some stair landing.) and kang wei.He gave reasons about hi toe(but he could run) and his arm.So everyone just ignored him.Even russell got thrown in.Aisha went in too, in the end.So Anand wasn't theoretically, the last one in the pool.Gordan the monitor got thrown in lots of times(i pushed him in at least 4 times...) so after every thing quietened down,people were just somersaulting(anand),jumping(the girls) and cannonballing(yours truly) into the pool.We just floted around then, looking at the stars.I tried to teach russell to float but,he's just too bony i guess.The boys then picked a girl to sit at the edge and proceeded to jump over her and into the pool.I pretended to take a shot.And scared a couple of people.My innability to jump in well reknowned.So i jumped beside her(han lin).The chlorine really stung my eyes.Mom was worried silly because i left at about 11:30.I dropped Pei shi at her home and proceeded in the taxi back(soaking wet,but mom was right, the driver didn't notice,it was too dark,which shows that mom knows best(she told me) but i do feel bad cause he even gave me a 50 cent discount.)I didn't get to eat the chicken and my Greiver necklace broke(Celest broke it whiile trying to drag me to the pool)But it can be fixed.But overall it was EXTREMELY fun.Thanks Delia, for the hosting.I also learned that satay takes really long to cook.Well, this is really long(the post) so i guess i'll stop here.Also mr koh left early.He came with his kid, by the way.Remeber to bring towels and clothes next time!(Darn anand foresaw this and did bring clothes.)Keep cool Y'all!(too many word to spell check,so sorry!)This post took an hour to type.

Today's saying-"Spinning Idiot" Zi Xiong(after i spinnned away from being pushed in a second time...or is that third...fourth?)

alone at 2:10 PM

Friday, June 03, 2005


Extra!EXTRA!Green Day makes scientific sense!

"I'm walking down the line,that divides me somewhere in my mind".Theoratically,Green Day is making sense.Ya,Amazing,I know!(I still don't get why American IDIOT though.Don't we already know?)Well, the thing is, the brain is divided in two hemispheres.Funnily,The right side controls the left side of the body!And vice versa.Which reminds me,How exactly do you pronounce that word?VI SEE versa or VICE versa?Ah,well that ain't important.And,You get the picture.Now,Please join me in conducting a simple enriching excercise.Stop hopping around.I don'y mean PHYSICAL excercise.Sheesh.Now,are you ready,let's go!

Why is abbreviation such a long word?Don't you find it funny?Well, i guess that...Oh yea, The excercise.Sorry,lost concentration.Went to the can.Now,loosely clasp your hands together,Like youre praying,see?,Interlock your fingers,one thumb over the other.Okay,not that hard is it?Now,carefully observe your thumb positions.Is it your right or left thumb on top?The more...intellectual of you may be able to figure out the point of the excercise(Look at the brain explanation part.)The even more Intellectual of you may guess that i am also wasting your time in the process.Bravo!So you see,if the right hand comes first, then congrats!Like me, you're an artsy fartsy person.If it's the left on top, you're one of em "analytical"brain users.Go on,go ahead and annoy your friends.

Sorry about the absence y'all.Really busy what with school and all.(Yes, school during the holidays.C'mon guys,get out your picket fences!No,wait,picket signs.Don't you find it so cool to type in italics?)Well,paul didnt come today(for those of you who don' already know,he's one of my best friends.Great, now he's head's the size of a watermelon..)So, i have to admit that it was kinda boring.Oh yea, you know that english teacher?Madam prema?Her jokes went...well, a little off hand,so i sent her a passage to read in Leviticus.Yes.Ha.My english teacher, a regular comedian.What a riot.Okay,so like , thanks to that stupid 307 bus,with it's long delays, i reached home a 5 pm.That sucked.I think we need those picket fences again,this time,NO TIBS !BAD SERVICE!YEAH!YEAH!So i just wanted to play Suikoden 4(Imagine,20 years from now, that game would be like pac man.Or worse,space invaders!!!)But sis was at home(the Ps in her room...The t.v's better there.)But, well, no chiepoo,tal or paula (game characters)for me...Also no Zhuge Liang or Sima Yi too.Historical characters,er,made into a game...so well, ya.That's it i guess.Tune in next episode,"Paul writes more stuff!"

And today's quote-"Mankind is indeed a mystery.It is composed of two words."Mank" and "ind".And until we find out what those words mean, mankiinnd will forever be a mystery."-Well,i am against Plagarism,but i really don't know who said that.Sorry mystery person!
This is the gut who puts the AR(pirate voice) back in ARts,Paul!Out.

alone at 8:53 PM