Sunday, February 26, 2006
Turn the Inner Eye
You know, let me tell you a little secret,i never know whatt my next postts will be about, this stuff is entirely off the fly.I mean, i've tried thinking about what i should write next, but i would have more chance growing tail feathers.It all starts when i'm in front of the comp,that's when iit starts to flow, very weird phenomemnon.Perhaps, it's because when i'm in front of the bloody thing, i'm not basing my views on what is around me.Take, for example, if i were havng a shower, i would be thinking of the Conspirational amounts of Lead and Iridium in our water supply, i would think, is this the cause we are dying so early?That leads to another connection and so on, that finally leads to my favourite question of all time, WHY?
I will not attempt to answer this again today, it's like smashing one's head into a brick wall.What would you guys like to hear?How funny, a journal that talks back.Ha.
Well, okay, the other day, i was in the library,and i saw a section about Reading.And Me and Russell laughed about it for a while, i mean come on, a section on reading?Filled with books you Read about,well, Reading? I thought it was funny, i even took a picture of it, and when i went home, i started thinking. A book on Reading, of the habit and origins of it, COULD be published.Well, so could a book on typing, or sneezing, or falling down and hurting yourself senseless.A book could be written on the dynamics of picking up a telephone receiver.It's amazing,Everything, can be observered,recorded,classified and put into writing.Even observing the observer.Take, for example, this french arthouse flick bordering on the topic of feminine power,men and lesbianism i saw yesterday(don't ask).I could observe myself as i move through the various emotions and feelings,I could observe the observer!There is always a level deeper, but people don't care.They've never cared.They are infinately complex creatures,but they are stupid.They aren't simple, they're dumb.
How funny this is,.Perhaps this is Knowledge Superior?The supreme knowledge,that one cannot know everything in a lifetime, for everthing that is to be known in infinate, and thus, the deeper a level you go, the more everything seems connected.Somehow.
"I'm doing it again!I'm questioning life again!"- Me
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The Lumbar Is Connected To The...
How it stresses on the soul!Like the unheeded birth of some unholy demon child,Such great weight on my panic that the world would likely never see again.Anguish! Yes, i needed to go to the toilet.Bad. And my problem...There was nothing to read!!!!How many times i hint people.I hint and i hint and i hint. That i wanted, no needed the holy grail of leisurely toilet read escapades.I NEED UNCLE JOHN'S ULTIMATE TOILET COMPANION!!!! But, no....no one would get me the bloody book for 28 dollars retailing at all major bookstores such as times and borders.Cheap fools.
But well, i did learn somthing today.It's all over if Andrea's in the toilet,The only thing readable in the toilet would be old back issues of FHM(guess whos it is.No, go on, guess.)And never...ever ...EVER eat more than 4 bananas in a single day.EVER.
So there i was, on the brink of insanity,with nothing to read. I had already read the back of every toilrtry in the toilet.I can name the color dye used in Colgate's fresh strip toothpaste.So what do i do? My search led me to rummaging around Raymond's room.Guess what i found. Britannica's Encyclopaedia on the human body. So i picked it up and ran.
...And found it a very interesting read.I learnt where the Clavicle is,the locations of the Fibula,Tibia,Sternum,Illium,Radius,Coccyx,Phalanges and much more.I also learnt the functions of the Thoratic Vertebrate and the various cartilidges.Fascinating.And i can remeber them crystal clear.It's amazing what a healthy interest in a subject coupled with the complete peace and serentity of the toilet does to increase comprehension and memory.No longer will the classrooms of the future have cubicles of high tech computers,they would have cubicles installed with what the word cucicle was created for.Yeah, the ultimate learning enviroment.And a Vending Machine in class wouldn't be a bad idea too.And a Snack Bar. Learning should be enjoyed people!!!!When are you stuffed up little tyquods gonna understand that?Making learning fun doesn't mean Group work that consists of a last minute rush to finish a project on the bloody germination of Kang Kong!
So.Like i was saying.The next time you got the urge to Go.Go!Grab a book and learn something new too.Who knows when you might have to perform open heart surgery on the pizza delivery dude?
"Respecting Books means that you care for them so much you wish to be with them in the most private of places.Just watch the flush." -Me.
Monday, February 20, 2006
The Eighth Snooze Alarm
Somedays you just want to lie back feel a warm breeze on your face and go to sleep. Unfortunately, chances are,someone will be planning to rob you. I'm in not much mood today, so let me update you on my life.Well, so far, my O levels are over(An international examination is a concept i still am not satisfied with) and i've got my results.I've made my tertiary education choices,and i'm waititng for those.I'm not afraid of making new friends,though i always was apprehensive.But, now it's a helluva lot easier.Just walk up to them and say,"Hey, do you play DotA?" I'm not afraid of losing old friends.It's hard to lose someone in this day and age.Handphones and what not.Plus, we actually have actual bonds.Of friendship.We're smarter now,not like in primary school.Where i swear, i couldn't give two hoots.Life is...In a sweetspot.Christi's working in a chocolate store for two weeks.Nothing muuch going on acutually.It's been a fantastic time to sit back and unwind.But, well, all good things must come to an end, i'm ready. Just woke up, so i'm a little woozy.
The Struggle In the Morn
How the enigma, subconscious, procrstinates,
To allow clarity to ursurp its reign.
How i wish to remain in that unjust limbo,
where all is right,without pain,
for the world is what i say to be.
And Stubborn is my nature,
To awake would be to accept defeat
And thus forsake Nike.
How the "other" mind reteliates
To keep its perfect kingdom.
Yet,glory be, when the battle is fought,
And and subconsciousness has lost.
She comes to me, one final time,
And lays my lips in sweet frost.
Alas, i am thrown about,
in winds of sudden epiphany
I know i am here
It is surely so
That i awake to the pleasant surprise
That is life.
-Me.
Friday, February 17, 2006
This Wait Is Killing Me!
Which is a pretty scary train of thought if you think about it.I mean, look at it this way, Isn't Life itself the ultimate Wait for Death?For the End?It really is a long wait.But along the way, we forge bonds.Of friendship, of love.We keep ourselves occupied.We learn,we study,we help make the world a better place before we depart.Which all comes round in another conclusive circle,And makes me question,again, the ,eaning, the purpose of life.A wait for the end.Ha.What a delightful pun.It so does kill us.
Now,focus down a little,into everyday life.People claim they hate waiting.Well everyday,we wait for one thing or another.Sure, we wait minutes, even hours for the bloody bus.But what about he smallest period of time,where,indefinately,we are WAITING for things to happen.The smallest Nanosecond,or whatever it's called to take it's effect.Take, for example you are seated on the toilet.You are Waiting for your ex-dinner to make it's grand exit.Evertime you breathe,Hopefully,you don't inhale anything foul,you wait for the oxygen you absorb to power up your functions again.You wait.So,we go down the line,smaller time measurements get smaller, until,yes,Thief Of Time makes sense, you get the SMALLEST possible time extension.So it sorta is, that at one particular time, far beyond human senses,the whole world, nay, the Universe is still.Waiting for the next smallest effect to take it's place.If we somehow were to get power over this, then, perhaps, time travel, would have half a shot.
Then we come to this really old theory i heard a long long time ago.In a galaxy far far away. Well, anyways, it sorta goes like this.You let fly an arrow into a target. You take pctures of the arrow's progress until it hits home.Look at the pictures, the arrow is still right?Completely not moving.Unless, of course, we all wore pointy hats and went to Hogwarts instead of Chua Chu Kang Secondary. The theory states that at that one particular CAPTURED moment in time, the arrrow was COMPLETELY stationary.So, what the hell happened to the progress of the arrrow if it was stationary everysecond until it hit the mark?Well, if you look at it philosophically, no arrows are completely still, that would defeat the purpose of the creation of the arrow itself.That's unimportant, but if you relate the theory to what i have written above,The WORLD is supposed to be not moving at all.Zilch.I am not writing this, and alot of stuff would cease to exist.Growth wouldn't happen,and perhaps,well, nothing ever will.Amazing!The world was never meant to exist at all, yet what the bloody blue hell am i doing here?!Perhaps it really is,
"It's all a waiting game."- Me.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Ooooh Her Kisses...
(Ooh) Sweeter than honey.(Ooh) And Guess what? So is her money.-Which can get annoying at times.I mean, well, she walks around with,Oh, i dunno...Hundreds!And i have measly amounts in my wallet.Which leaves me to be the Broke Ni- well, broke. If i was a gold digger,i struck the jackpot!In more ways than one.
I always thought, hey well, Relationships after i get a job and my own place.I had seen too much heartache from other people to throw myself into one without thinking.But, well, life has a funny way of dropping things on your head.In this case,it's a black haired bombshell from Bukit Panjang.Okay,that doesn't exactly sound...i dunno,it sounds weird, but i don't care.The main thing is,well, i'm thankful.I don't know if i'm ready or not, but it's sink or swim.And well,i'm doing the freestyle pretty well if you you ask me.
I seriously had no idea how she would change my life.Popping up in my head during contemplation of the world hunger situation,becoming very much a permanent fixture in my life so far.It's a funny thing,this emotion.It makes you feel insatiable,yet full at the same time.Now,enough about beating around the bush, let me tell you more about her.
She's unique.You might argue that every girl is unique,but i say they're all abnormal.She is unique.She has all this adorable little quirks like hating condiments(Awww...)But if i say more, well, she'll probably punch me.She's gorgeous.No denying that.Go find a picture of her.You guys are smart, it's out there in the great W W W. She's funny.Well most of the time, i have had my share of lame jokes, but don't we all?She is of few mediums that can make me laugh out loud.Another is Spongebob.She's Cool.Yeah, you don't usually give a complimentt like that to a girl,But she deserves it.She plays DotA.Enough said.If you think all these are important, wait till the next part.She's Intellectual.I mean, i'm so glad that i've finally found someone other that Linda that shares my views and opinions! I can talk to her about anything from Boogers to Death.(Put em together and you get a Boogeyman.) Intelligence!The thing that i fell for most.I guess she must have been the only real competition in my Ex-English class.And one of the very few people to understand my infamous Stars! Essay.She understood it! And i'm i awe.When ever i look at her there are just that in my eyes,stars(Betcha thought awe right?Yeah, that too.) Sometimes i feel that i'm on so many levels at once.And the thing is, she's on those selfsame levels.So when we're together, it's just one.I love that head of hers.She is the personification of perfection,mandate to intellectuality.She is one smart babe.Well, i could go on and on.But, hey! I think i've got my point across.If it hits you, it hits you.Life is one funny thing.
"It's just a lowly question,barely worth her time,
On this day where hearts and souls and lovers intertwine,
It's just a lowly question,to keep silent is a crime,
I wonder if she'd whack me in the head if i asked,
Christi,be my Valentine?"
Duh, you all saw it coming...
Friday, February 10, 2006
Today
Is the First Day of The Rest Of My Life.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
I Shall Walk.
How weird it is,That i must take a step back from looking at the world,to look at my life.Friday is O level Results day...I'm...i don't know what to think.For the first time in my life,I don't feel certain.For the first time in my life i am allowing myself to be buffeted around by the winds of change.Uncertainty because,i do not know where i will go next.My life,my future will be decided come friday.What i will choose to do with my life,If i should enter a polytechnic instituition.A hard decision to make in the prematurity of life.If i were to enter a Junior College,well, i have another two years and one major examination to think about it.For the first time, i cannot see what lies ahead.Where my path will be guided.There is no longer the security of a compulsory straight forward path of education.No more thinking just what lies at the end of the year.I have been thrust into a fog.And Lord,guide my feet.
It is a bit like death i suppose.One faces the ultimate unknown,and the meaning of life becomes clear,yet,well,he dies.That mix of anxiety and blunt curiousity.It is maddening.And depressing.Very depressing.I am forced to stand back and re evaluate the question,what would you like to be when you grow up?It seems to have been surreptitously merged with,What is it you would like to do now?
What is it WOULD i like to do now?Well,words have always intrigued me.I would like them to be my life's work.The ability to convey a myriad of complex emotions,Thoughts,actions, with the use of some primitive markings.Such depth lies in it,such mysteries.It is fascinating is it not?Words,i want to make my life's work.Yet,where in this country might i do it?
Mom always said.Don't worry,God will find a way...what else can i do but let the winds of change blow?And allow God to bear me under his wing to safety.
"And Thus,Another Chapter Unfolds.Let it come,I wait in pleasant surprise."-Me.
Monday, February 06, 2006
The Smell of Novels and Coffee
You know i would really like to do when i'm old,wrinkly and smell of prunes?Or maybe when i retire early and fall back on my huge stash of cash from the many books i write that take the world by storm and show the west that asia isn't all about Kung pao chicken and fortune cookies.Though i like fortune cookies.Well, anyways, it's always been one of my dreams to open a bookshop.No,it's only partly revenge against Popular bookstore and it's horrible,well, book selection.Other than wanting to run that place out of town and destroy the monotonous monopoly of trashy novels that include such stupid teen favourites as Smallville,Angel,Charmed and other mindnumbing Crap that stares out from that bloody box of idiocy,The reason i would like to open a store like that is to harmonize books and people through my liking of them(The Books, not people.Well,some people.)It'll also serve coffee and other caffeinated beverages.And on fridays, it'll be free form poetry night.Where young Beatniks from all over can come and express their Hippiness through the joy of rhyming words and Bongo drums.On Saturday nights,it'll be Essay night.Where any essay, on any topic,From King James to Zebras can be read out without hesitation or humiliation.My BookCafe(Copyright pending) will be a santuary for the intellgent coffee lover.It will be a temple,dedicated to the art and love of writing.It will be a courtyard where Love flys free and intellectuals find one another.At least,it will be,until either i grow corrupt and start thinking about only the dough,or it is torn from it's innocence and bought over to be replaced by a lowly,filthy strip club.I do not know what is in store for my BookCafe,The Metaphoric Bean, but i swear i will uphold my morals and never ever sell it.It will be as an heirloom,passed down generations,and adapting,Always adapting with the changing flow of the times.But ut will always embody the love i have so pure,for the simple matter of words.For Literature.And there will be discounts for friends and family.We'll see. The future holds many surprises as they say.I am itching to see where mine will take me.
"Where the Bean is a Metaphor."
Friday, February 03, 2006
First time for everything...
Or,in today's case,the first time i was moved to tears by a movie.It was a rendition of the pulitzer prize winning play,Wit,by Ms Margret Edson.Directed by Mike Nichols.My god.It was one sad movie.It wasn't thrashy romance like,Snort,Titanic.It didn't have some pathetic simpering heroine looking with unrequited yearning in some moronic pretty boy's eyes.
On a side note,women aren't like that.They're so much stronger.God have mercy on your soul,if you find out the hard way. So anyways,Death wasn't potrayed as a breaking of lover's union,It was potrayed in all the glory and justice of John Donne's Holy Sonnets.It was potrayed in depth. The movie...showed,death in the eyes of a Scholar,In the eyes of an intellectual.It came first,in all it's multi facets,all it's many levels.All it's many sides.And then,intellect was thrown aside.It succumbed to simplicity.Simple terms.Because,a professor in 17th century poetry finally saw it it as it happenedd to her.Death,with his scythe,to a philosopher.It was a beautiful show,Strangely uplifting.And coupled with grevious,well,wit.There was humour,but you didn't want to laugh.Such Humour it was!Never seen it before.The like of which will live with me forever.It opened my eyes...It opened my heart.Such a movie it was,such a movie.You would know what was in store,You would know,expect,the tragic end.But...You would keep watching.I didn't know why.Heart wrenching,to see the final days of Ms Vivian Bearing being played out.Her life,the excellent use of stage play in a movie...Amazing.How the doctor would start using the past tense while describing her.The cold...stupidity of the doctors..I could not bear to watch it again.And for that,it remains one of my favorite movies.An intellectual journey that strays from the path television stupidity.It was a fantastic flim.Go and watch it.Idiots would get bored.It was captivating.
So what did i do after the movie?Call and bother Christine of course.
"Brevity is the soul of Wit."-Margret Edson's WIT.
Most touching line: "I am a scholar.Or...i used to be.When i had shoes,and eyebrows..Haha."
I'm awake,I'm awake.
I've had a lot of time to think about things.Alot of things,Alot of time.I've also learnt alot about Life,Love,The World.The Real World.People.Politics.Oh,i could go on...Basically,i've felt like i've finally opened my eyes.The transition from an uncaring kid to an all seeing entity.Entity,cause even adults forgo thoughts about the world.Entity,cause i know i have devastating potential.Entity,cause i feel like an outsider.I feel i view the world from the above,Rather than from the french grilled windows of my eyes.Entity,cause i know i can change things.The world is your Bento Lunch Box Set.So,i think.I continue to do so.I think.I learn.I understand.I think some more.I have grown.I know it.I see it.It is...sad to wave my youth goodbye.Having partaken the fruit of it,or what i think it is,It is...a pity.Yet,of course,i am glad.My imagination has Exploded!Into a million swirling colors!Blending,swirling,forming,receding!In glorious technicolor.It has...evolved.Like a stupid kind of pokemon.Evolved into Greatness!Harnessable greatness.I love my mind.You should do likewise.
Okay, i know there have been alot of complaints about not featuring my Beloved Christine.I'm shy,okay?But,don't worry,i will.With great aplomb.Yeah,get ready girl...
"I can think of all things,and they merge into nothing.The basis of thought is infinite."-Me
